Hurt My Kitty – Beware the evil toy!
Posted August 7, 2011on:
As a general rule I only review products on my blog that I actually like.
I have decided to break my rule for this toy because I think a public service announcement is necessary.
This toy needs a warning label to be printed big and bold on the box that says “Warning: Not for use if you have any inner labia at all!”
This very cute looking toy is evil.
It tried to kill my kitty, but only succeeded in causing me some pain.
Yes, the Divine Inspiration hurt my kitty.
Catch the name of this toy? “Divine Inspiration”
The inspiration must have come from some very evil-minded woman-hater.
I must admit that it was all my fault though, because I had been warned.
My possession of this toy came about after rummaging through a box of “junk toys” at a friend’s house. It was pretty, unique, and had cool designs on it.
I asked what it was, and was told “it is a piece of shit pussy eater.”
My curiosity was piqued and I asked what was wrong with it.
I was told that it was a rotating vibrator and it tangled her labia all up.
Hmm, curiosity killed the cat they say.
In my case it just hurt my kitty.
I had this idea that a rotating vibe would be fun.
My mind told me that since both my inner and outer labia are smaller than average it would be fun.
I should have listened to my friend.
That night when I went to bed I took this toy with me.
At first I put just a bit of lube on it and tried to use it from a side angle like a Sqweel.
Sliquid Sqweel Oral Sex Simulator
Just didn’t do much in that direction, so I went for it straight on.
Sure enough, it tried to yank at my lips.
I decided I needed more lube and tried it again. Good for a minute, but then it started yanking again.
I added massive amounts of lube and went for it once more. It was kind of cool feeling, but then the lube started sticking up and the thing tried to rip my lips off!
Fucking evil toy!
It rotates both directions with the push of a button.
It doesn’t vibrate without rotation. It just plain sucks.
Maybe if you have no labia at all this would be fun. I’m small though and it tried to eat me.
You have been warned!
So now that I have told you how wonderful the toy works I will tell you another problem I found.
When you look at the picture you can see that the top spinning part and the lower handle have a crack between them.
The top spinning part is silicone and the handle is hard plastic.
After I was done abusing myself with the evil sex toy I went to clean off all the lube.
In that crack was a ton of the stuff.
I wasn’t to worried about breaking the thing, but I didn’t want to because I have a friend with one of those total inny type kitties and thought maybe she would like it.
Still, I couldn’t get the silicone off without ripping it.
I pulled at it and there ended up lube under it too.
This thing is impossible to clean.
Dirty sex toys equal infections. Toys you can’t clean well equal dirty toys.
So whoever invented this thing obviously wanted to make sure that if it didn’t rip your labia off, you would at least get rotten crotch.
I’m wondering what the people at Cal Exotics had in mind when they let this one through.
Cal Exotics is a big company and knows their stuff when it comes to sex toys.
Even so they made a whole line of them. 3 to be exact. I won’t be trying the other two.
If you are tempted as I was to give the evil toy a try, and it tries to eat your kitty, just remember that I warned you.
For all you seekers of punishment out there, you can get it here.