Pocket RockettZ

Posts Tagged ‘sex toy

The August list of sex toy reviews is up and there is plenty to see.

Sex Toy Review List August

If you are wanting a new toy and don’t know exactly what you want, then you should check out this months Big List on Real Sex Toy Reviews.
Cool stuff for realz homies.

I am leaving that last line along with rating on myself.
I am so un-cool I realised when writing that because I actually have no idea how a person is supposed to spell homies.
Oh well, who cares? If you are the type to call people homies in real life then you probably don’t know how to spell it either.

*pouty face*

death from sex toy sad review picture

I hurt my kitty

As a general rule I only review products on my blog that I actually like.
I have decided to break my rule for this toy because I think a public service announcement is necessary.
This toy needs a warning label to be printed big and bold on the box that says “Warning: Not for use if you have any inner labia at all!”

This very cute looking toy is evil.
It tried to kill my kitty, but only succeeded in causing me some pain.
Yes, the Divine Inspiration hurt my kitty.

Catch the name of this toy? “Divine Inspiration”
The inspiration must have come from some very evil-minded woman-hater.

I must admit that it was all my fault though, because I had been warned.
My possession of this toy came about after rummaging through a box of “junk toys” at a friend’s house. It was pretty, unique, and had cool designs on it.
I asked what it was, and was told “it is a piece of shit pussy eater.”
My curiosity was piqued and I asked what was wrong with it.
I was told that it was a rotating vibrator and it tangled her labia all up.
Hmm, curiosity killed the cat they say.
In my case it just hurt my kitty.

I had this idea that a rotating vibe would be fun.
My mind told me that since both my inner and outer labia are smaller than average it would be fun.
I should have listened to my friend.

That night when I went to bed I took this toy with me.

dont let the looks fool you its a death toy

Don't let the pretty looks fool you!

At first I put just a bit of lube on it and tried to use it from a side angle like a Sqweel.
Sliquid Sqweel Oral Sex Simulator
Just didn’t do much in that direction, so I went for it straight on.
Sure enough, it tried to yank at my lips.
I decided I needed more lube and tried it again. Good for a minute, but then it started yanking again.
I added massive amounts of lube and went for it once more. It was kind of cool feeling, but then the lube started sticking up and the thing tried to rip my lips off!
Fucking evil toy!
It rotates both directions with the push of a button.
It doesn’t vibrate without rotation. It just plain sucks.
Maybe if you have no labia at all this would be fun. I’m small though and it tried to eat me.

You have been warned!

So now that I have told you how wonderful the toy works I will tell you another problem I found.
When you look at the picture you can see that the top spinning part and the lower handle have a crack between them.
The top spinning part is silicone and the handle is hard plastic.
After I was done abusing myself with the evil sex toy I went to clean off all the lube.
In that crack was a ton of the stuff.
I wasn’t to worried about breaking the thing, but I didn’t want to because I have a friend with one of those total inny type kitties and thought maybe she would like it.
Still, I couldn’t get the silicone off without ripping it.
I pulled at it and there ended up lube under it too.
This thing is impossible to clean.
Dirty sex toys equal infections. Toys you can’t clean well equal dirty toys.
So whoever invented this thing obviously wanted to make sure that if it didn’t rip your labia off, you would at least get rotten crotch.

I’m wondering what the people at Cal Exotics had in mind when they let this one through.
Cal Exotics is a big company and knows their stuff when it comes to sex toys.
Even so they made a whole line of them. 3 to be exact. I won’t be trying the other two.

If you are tempted as I was to give the evil toy a try, and it tries to eat your kitty, just remember that I warned you.

For all you seekers of punishment out there, you can get it here.

Here I am
And you’re a Rocket Queen
I might be a little young
But honey I ain’t naïve
Here I am
And you’re a Rocket Queen, oh yeah
I might be too much
But honey you’re a bit obscene

pocket rocket vibe and my tummy

Rocket Queen

I’ve seen everything imaginable
Pass before these eyes
I’ve had everything that’s tangible
Honey you’d be surprised
I’m a sexual innuendo
In this burned out paradise
If you turn me on to anything
You better turn me on tonight

Pocket rocket vibrator in silver
Pocket Rockets Rock

Happy HNT
Clicky the button to find out about
half nekkid thursday

I am the Rocket Queen.

I became addicted to this exact style of vibrator the first time I got ahold of one.
They are simple and powerful. They are easy to clean and last forever.
These great little buzzing beauties take regular batteries and don’t suck up the battery life to fast.
Small enough to go anyplace, but not so small it is hard to hold onto.
In short, what we have here is the perfect clitty vibe.
On a budget?
I have bought pocket rockets of this type for under $10 many times.
Want luxury?
I have seen them in gold with real jewels.
Need silence? Most of them in the mid priced range can hardly be heard.
Want to play in water? They are usually waterproof once you crack the $20 price range.
Do I love these vibes? I do!

I always have one with me. I never leave home without a pocket rocket.
I am the Rocket Queen!

The pocket rocket vibe I am showing off is a lower cost, hard plastic model made by Doc Johnson Enterprises.
It is waterproof, has a single speed dial to turn it on and off at the base, and is shiny.
I like shiny things. They make me feel sexy.
This vibe takes just 1 AA battery, and has lasted a full two months for me on the last battery.
That is a lot of use in my hands because as I mentioned, I’m addicted to these things.
This little guy gets used daily.
To be honest I am not exactly sure where this puppy came from, but I went looking around and decided to point you towards the Pocket Rockets on Amazon They have a great selection ranging in price from super low to mid level and they even have the Bzzz Buddies pocket vibes. Fun!

Sinfully sweet!

Pocket RockettZ on Music, Beauty and Pocket Rockets

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